Wednesday, May 31, 2006

Two words you would never expect to hear in proximity of each other: ‘treat’ and ‘McDonald’s’

I stepped out briefly this evening to retrieve some fans to deal with our rural Virginian tropical season. On the way, I stopped by McDonald’s to purchase a treat: a 32-ounce sweet iced tea.

My American readers, as precious few as they may be, will probably understand the importance of iced tea (or ice tea if you’re from my region) to American culture. You just don’t brew some tea, pour it over ice and add a couple of spoonfuls of sugar and stir.

No. You brew about 16-20 orange pekoe tea bags in a quart of water, pour the hot tea over a significant quantity of white sugar, stir, cut the solution by half and pour some over a glass full of ice.

So many establishments outside the South serve you a glass of tea and, when asked if it’s sweet, toss you a packet of sugar.

Uncouth, nekulturny bastards.

I hate to say this, but McDonald’s has actually come up with a task and a recipe that almost none of their semi-skilled (and even skilled) staff members can make pear-shaped. I’m sure they’ve tried, but no luck to date.

Anyway, I’ve had today off since I worked on Memorial Day and have thoroughly confused some of you with my persistent blogging and cross-posting. I’ve met a few new folks (added to the blog list at the right of the screen and near the emergency exit) and will probably make more additions in the coming hours and days.

By the way Carmentza, thanks for getting that INXS song stuck in my head.

It’s been very enjoyable, and I actively encourage you to scroll down a few posts and start spreading the Heather McCartney divorce claims posted below. I have little respect for humanity – why should you?


Blogger Martha said...

Right. I've found Virginia on the map. Looks kind of white, with yellow lines for roads. Am I right?

According to Google, Virginia is a place for lovers, which explains all the ice tea.

11:09 PM  
Blogger Frontier Editor said...

My word, the power of Mapquest to reveal our secrets!

Yes, we're whitewashed and the highway department can't paint just a yellow centerline. Please don't tell anyone else.

5:45 AM  
Blogger Pamela said...

Just how sweet is sweet?

9:35 AM  
Blogger Frontier Editor said...

Eight tablespoons

9:48 AM  
Blogger Pamela said...

Oh my heck.

2:27 PM  
Blogger jromer said...

having 'lived' in oklahoma for 13 very long years, i can attest to the power of sweet tea. if your molars don't sing aloud in a pitch that makes canines two time zones over whine and fall to the ground, then it isn't sweet enough. and many people don't even consider oklahoma to be the south so, if that is the 'watered' down version, just imagine the real thing.

3:35 PM  
Blogger Frontier Editor said...

Welcome back! How about a pitcher of tea?

3:37 PM  
Blogger Carmenzta said...

Fronty (may I call you that?), INXS were the bomb! Enjoy the song. Anyway, it's better than getting "Funky Town" stuck in your head.

The Iced Tea thing: Strangely enough, one of the Checkers drive-throughs (or as I like to call them, "drive-troughs") in my neighborhood makes a totally wonderful "sweetened" iced tea. It is one of the best I've ever had. I hate to think of the calories, so I just repress the thought for another day...

What "tropical season" do you have in Virginia? I'm suspecting you haven't ever been in Miami anytime near what they call "summer" but it really should be called "hell."

4:36 PM  
Blogger Frontier Editor said...

Come to Southwestern Virginia sometime. From June through mid September, it's like a southeast Asian jungle with the heat and humidity.

Yeah, it's hotter on the coast, but it really is a drier heat. Trust me.

4:42 PM  
Blogger Pamela said...

'Fronty'. Ha!

7:07 PM  
Blogger Frontier Editor said...

Yep, and after dinner here I'll be the full Fronty

7:13 PM  

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