Sunday, May 28, 2006

Not by popular request

Okay, I've got to get this out of my system and then I promise, no more Heather McCartney jokes

God, I'm gonna burn for this . . . . .

Top ten specifics of Heather McCartney’s divorce filing:

10) Paul mocked me by buying me a DVD remastering of “The 39 Steps”

9) Kept snickering when he said “this lager doesn’t have enough hops in it.”

8) Inflicted mental cruelty by repeated playing of “Band on the Run”

7) Said he married me because he was a leg man

6) Said on several occasions that there was something wrong but that he couldn’t peg it.

5) Pet name for me: Ahab

4) Friends made cryptic “Deuce Bigalow, Male Gigolo” remarks in my presence (go watch the movie – it’ll come to you.)

3) Opened lingerie drawer – half my stockings tied off

2) Told me I was a natural for base 5 arithmetic.

1) Said we were a natural for the three-legged race at the Apple corporate picnic


Blogger Vicus Scurra said...

Those jokes were awful. Truly prosthetic.

6:16 AM  
Blogger Frontier Editor said...

Not to mention how they perpetuate the Colonel Limp stereotype . . .

6:42 AM  
Blogger tom909 said...

The absolute butt of humour there, Fronty old chap.

11:44 AM  
Blogger Pamela said...

I'd type a comment but I'm too busy groaning.

11:47 AM  
Blogger Carmenzta said...

But seriously folks...I didn't know they were getting a divorce.

3:01 PM  
Blogger Frontier Editor said...

Welcome to my corner of hell - the best place to get news with topical humor or topical anesthetic.

4:19 PM  

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