I am mercifully free of the ravages of employment

Yes, it's true. As of 1109 Eastern Standard Time, 16 November 2006 anno domini, I am no longer in the editorial biz.

The short form is this: On the way to work Monday, I crippled my vehicle when I struck a rather sizeable and dense groundhog and caused damage to my oil pan. After limping home and garaging my van, I began utilizing the array of networking software installed in my laptop for just such an emeregncy so I could coordinate and build a newspaper from the discomfort of my own home.

Said software and network connections began displaying a series fo cascading failures in the subsequent 20 hours, including corrupted photo and page files, disappearing files, locked-up connections . . . . basically a house of horrors that I had warned about since last March.

After going to out flagship daily to get their IT people to fix my problems, I was able to put the papers to bed 10 hours late. I got home at 12:05 a.m. Wednesday after 36 hours straight of sheer terror, frustration and work.

Three hours after getting home, I had to take my wife to the emergency room for an excruciating bout of back pain. She was downed by the doctor for three days and put in line for an MRI next week. I took Wednesday as a sick day to care for her.

Upon my return to work Thursday, my group editor arrived 20 minutes later to inform me that our group publisher was on the way to fire me and that I should resign to ensure my re-employability with the corporation on the advice of the regional publisher. This I did, after consultations with the regional editor and assurances that I would be given preference for one of the hire-frozzen positions at the daily once they became thawed.

That evening, the regional publisher called me to ask about the situation that led to my resignation. After hearing how I was edged out - apparently without his knowledge as told to the contrary, how computer problems had gotten that bad without his knowledge, and how the group publisher had ordered that we editors were to post reports with only glowing positives of how we were improving things, he was not particularly amused and said he would investigate and see what this would hold for my future.

So, armed with questionable assurances of a better day and somewhat stronger assurances that the group publisher now faces the loss of a significant quantity of flesh, I have managed to find a job as a dispatcher for satellite TV technicians - a job that could allow me - if successful - to apply for and enroll in a free 34-week college program in computer programming tailored to Northrop Grumman's specific needs for computer programmers in our region.

And if there's any justice in the cosmos this month, my former group publisher will also be reconsidering his professional future.

Physically, this is the best I've felt in more than a year.