Sunday, July 16, 2006

A few random thoughts, now that I've depressed everyone . . .

I'm standing in line next to this woman at McDonalds. She has a moustache as sharp and dark as Ronald Colman's. Her male companion turns around and asks her; "Do you want anything."

I bit my tongue to keep from saying what popped up instantaneously; "Yes, electrolysis"


And this tidbit from SNL's classic "Theodoric of York" skit series.

"What you need is a good bleeding!"

"But I'm bleeding already."

"Say, who's the barber here?"

34 Comments:

Blogger Pamela said...

So....you're saying you don't like women with hairy upper lips?

1:29 AM  
Blogger Miz BoheMia said...

Oh is it not dreadful? Being a fashion, hygiene and hair maintenance conscious bohemian I quite understand the pain that comes with not speaking out on something so awfully horrendous as a hair upper lip... or a bad hair do... or an outfit so awfully put together the one committing the monstrous atrocity must be shot, SHOT I TELL YOU!

*sigh*

But bite our tongues we must lest we be whacked upside the head you see... and that is just not a fun thing to have done to you, believe you me!!

1:39 AM  
Anonymous raincoaster said...

Well if she's that furry she could always get a job with CSIS. They don't hire anyone without a cheesy moustache. That is why I am not a spy.

2:54 AM  
Blogger Frontier Editor said...

Please understand - I realize the biological facts of life regarding facial hair. But when it looks like Snidely Whiplash or William Powell . . .. . .

5:19 AM  
Blogger Miss Cellania said...

Alrighty then. Is that new profile photo YOU, or someone else you admire?

6:42 AM  
Blogger tom909 said...

Yes, Fronty - what's with the complete change of image.
Now, as someone who prides myself as a model of political correctness, can I put on record once and for all that I would not allow something as petty as extreme facial hair to come between me and any lady concerned, unless of course she had big tits, that might swing my decision!

7:34 AM  
Blogger Frontier Editor said...

Okay, okay, I'm a pig. But hey, there's a difference between the normal sort of downy facial hair to be expected and someone who could style it into a reginemntal handlebar.

And in response to Miss C and Tom: that pic is someone I certainly would not admire. In fact, I would advise that you try to avoid admireing or even showing a modicum of respect towards. To go further, he's the fat bastard who makes life hellish for all of his subordinates.

9:37 AM  
Blogger Pamela said...

So it IS you! :grin:

1:15 PM  
Blogger tom909 said...

Actually Fronty, I've taken another look at your new pic. You don't look like I imagine yanks to look. And also you don't look like a 'fat bastard boss', but if you say so...

2:09 PM  
Blogger Carmenzta said...

Fronty, is that a picture of your supervisor? or is that you? Nice pic, whoever he is.

BTW Tom and Fronty, you will be more forgiving of female facial hair when YOU begin getting hairy ears and Cialis no longer works.

4:02 PM  
Blogger ziggi said...

I prefered you before you aged

4:24 PM  
Blogger Frontier Editor said...

Actually, Carmentza, I was being modest - I'm the fat bastard who makes life hell for his subordinates.

And I already trim my ear hair, thank you very much :8^D

And Ziggi, you're not one of the people I've turned against journalism, I hope for my own personal safety?

5:04 PM  
Anonymous raincoaster said...

Not only do you make life hell for your subordinates, but you can't spell "admiring." Is one of your subordinates a copy editor?

All people with facial hair, regardless of gender, are equally required to apply proper grooming. "Born free" is for lions, not follicles.

11:09 PM  
Blogger Frontier Editor said...

Arrgh Rain, I've been doing a redesign on the fly for th elast week - of course I have a copy editor, but he doesn't do blogs.

So, does the "cheesy mustache" deal explain Alex Trebek's early and middle career phases?

12:09 AM  
Blogger Homo Escapeons said...

One has to wonder if Lady Bic's carpeting (obviously wall to wall) matched the Colmanic sheen of her drapes...er no.. what would a moustache be anyway? A valance?

She must be a Dapper Dan Man.

3:28 AM  
Blogger tom909 said...

Fronty - A few weeks ago I took the bold if perhaps unwise decision not to trim my ear hair. It is now full-on in yer face and so far I don't think it has had any practical ramifications on my life. Of course I'm not going out on the pull, or trying to get a job and I do take a kind of 'take me as I am or piss off' kind of stance to my life, so I'm not saying we should all go for it with the old ear hair.
Let's be honest us blokes can get away with a lot more than the ladies - I mean for example fat blokes can pull easier than fat ladies, and ear hair on a man or a moustache on a woman, it's no contest. Only the other day I was thinking how I like my wife to take care and look nice for me, but I don't give a shit what I look like for her. Perfectly balanced see!

6:50 AM  
Anonymous raincoaster said...

You must be very rich, Tom.

As for Alex Trebek, I can only assume that he harboured a secret dream to become a Mountie. At least he had the look down pat. Okay, not counting the afro he sometimes wears.

7:19 AM  
Blogger Carmenzta said...

Alex Trebek is still a hot babe to me, moustache or not. Tommy, you're right that it's no contest between the ear hairs on guys vs. moustache or whiskers on us "girls." NO FAIR.

10:23 AM  
Blogger ziggi said...

I haven't gone off journalists just because of you - I haven't actually been on one - however you have set me back a page or two in the "Magik Spelles for the Naive" (Amazon £9.99) - I'd just modelled my Lookylikeystickypinniesinny doll of you based on your last picture, and lo it changed! I was only going to cast a "spell check" spell on you too - so bad luck chum, I'm not even attempting anything that looks like you claim to look now - you're doomed to bad spelling, grammar and syntax every time you blog and you only have yourself to blame.

2:27 PM  
Blogger Cherrypie said...

Going back to the woman in McDonald's that started all this, she didn't order a cappucino did she? I'd have stared and probably gaped, either way I'd have probably have been late back from lunch, not that I'd have had appetite left for anything by then.

4:44 PM  
Blogger jromer said...

some people just give up.

7:47 PM  
Blogger Frontier Editor said...

Cherry, it was truly amazing to behold despite its repulsiveness and the temptation to make many a smart remark.

10:56 PM  
Blogger Pamela said...

I've seen women like that...and it's very difficult not to stare.

You know you shouldn't be looking...but you can't help it...

12:59 AM  
Blogger Within Without said...

And did you all know that Alex Trebek is actually Canadian and that's not a real moustache?

He actually imports them to L.A. from the Far North, where the Inuit harvest the fur of barrenland caribou and timberwolves, cut them to specifications and then cure them during their 18.5 days of summer.

It's a huge industry.

I think I'd better have my coffee now -- or something.

11:38 AM  
Blogger Carmenzta said...

Within, Without,

As gullible as I am, I cannot swallow that one, Sorry. Come back after the coffee.

Signed: Full of Caffeine in Miami

11:42 AM  
Blogger Within Without said...

OK, Carmenzta (zta, not tza, ta ta), I knew I couldn't fool you. But what part don't you believe?

They actually produce the moustaches out of blubber taken from the extremely rare Beluga Whale off Canada's West Coast.

The blubber is refined in some obscure little sweatshop in Nanaimo on Vancouver Island.

Then it's used as a binding agent to join together the gargantuan whiskers harvested from hundreds of walruses in the High Arctic.

Voila! Instant Alex Trebek moustache (Frank Zappa, who was NOT Canadian, was another well known patron).

I'm told they sell for like $5,000 Cdn (about $5 American).

2:52 PM  
Blogger Frontier Editor said...

WW - I thought that looked familiar - Alex strains the seas for plankton!

3:32 PM  
Blogger Within Without said...

Ex-ACT-lee, FE. You da man. How could they get so big eating something so very small?

3:45 PM  
Blogger Frontier Editor said...

Dunno. But if Art Fleming had his strainers inside his mouth, that also explanins how he go so big hosting the original "Jeopardy."

Damn, zoology is fun.

1:51 PM  
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