I feel pleasantly deranged tonight

I feel so much better these days that I'm going to tell you a little story.

Roy Rogers and Dale Evans were at the Double R Bar Ranch one fine evening, watching the sun set. Roy had just been breaking in a new pair of boots that day, and he left them on the porch before they called it a night.

A lynx sneaks up on the porch after Roy and Dale were asleep, and the critter rips, gnaws and shreds the boots.

Roy wakes up in the morning, realizes he forgot his boots, and goes out on the porch. He goes ballistic. He gets his guitar, his Winchester lever-action and saddles up Trigger before riding off into the sagebrush.

Roy's gone for five days, and Dale waits anxiously for every one of them.

On the sixth day, Roy comes riding in, the now-dead lynx hanging from Trigger's saddle horn. Just as Roy rides up and gets ready to tell how he avenged his boots, Dale interrupts and says, "Pardon me Roy, is that the cat who chewed your new shoes?"